Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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