When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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