I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Vodka?
Forever.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
