No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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