I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
