The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
