i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
