Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
