I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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