why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
They have beer where we have blood.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
