So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
