i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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