She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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