the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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