my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
