if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm way too hungover for life right now
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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