Can i not drive my cunt home
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
