erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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