At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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