I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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