Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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