I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
