I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
