Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
