Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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