Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
