Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
