She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
