If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
