For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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