Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
