real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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