..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
