I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
