Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
