awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
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