Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
