We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
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