she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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