Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
is it fun? or sober?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
