operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
