i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
