No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
