If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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