I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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