just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
