I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
