I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
