you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
