Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
