if i died would you start the facebook group?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
