Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
