Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
