the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I love having hate sex.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
